| My Funeral. AHHHHHHHHH!!! |
[Feb. 11th, 2008|02:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
The title sounds so morbid doesn’t it? It’s been such a long time since I have had this dream. Last time I had a dream that I was dying was back when I was in 6th grade, which empowered me to come out to my parents. Since that day, I have been out for almost 10 years now. Half my current life time! I felt like my time in this world was over and it wasn’t fair for me to die without my parents knowing how I felt about them and that they should at least know who they’re real son was. LOUD AND PROUD! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Haha! *(^_^)V
( So it all started like this... ) |
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| Yeah. |
[Jan. 10th, 2008|12:33 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  busy | ] |
Take that sarcastic ass mouth of yours and shove it up your fucking ass. |
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| Random Soul Searching. |
[Jan. 2nd, 2008|07:52 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
Lately, I had started working night shift and I’ve been thinking to myself for the past couple nights staying up late and such. Ever wonder if a past life ever existed and if it did what did you do to end up in where you are at today?
All the friends and family that you have now, could it just all be relevant? I just had this wild idea in my mind that maybe we’re all long lost souls trying to find each other. All the friends and family we have now were probably someone else different to us in our past life, but still exist within our lives today and we happen to have found each other.
I was talking to my awesome straight guy friend and we always joke about how we were boyfriends and girlfriends in our past life. Wouldn't it be nice to see what life was like during that time if it really did happen? I'm sure I would have made a pretty damn awesome girlfriend. Maybe yet, an awesome straight boyfriend. LOL! |
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| Friends from 21 years of my life. |
[Nov. 12th, 2007|10:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
I once asked my friend, Nick F., what was the meaning of life and he told me he didn't know, but his friend's answer to the question was "Friends." At the time and even to this day, I still don't have an answer to that question, but damn Nick's friend totally nailed it on the spot. "Friends." I look back at 21 years of my life and take a look at my friends that I have met and man have they been all over the map. Friends from all colors, all cultures, all shapes, and sizes.
Each and everyone one of you has made an impact on my life. I have friends I can bitch to, friends I can cry to, friends I can depend on, and friends that I can have a great time with. Lately I've been depressed and I was thinking to myself "So what was I doing before all this?" I was hanging out with my friends. It never seems to fail me no matter where I am and when I'm having a bad time, there's always someone there with me. I can honestly say I was having the best time of my life when I was with my friends.
Today, I took the liberty of making a collage of all my friends that I have accumulated in these 21 years of my life. There just soo many I wasn't able to fit everyone on there, but don't be sad! There will be more of these collages to come during the many road stops of my life. *HUGS ALL OF MY FRIENDS*
( Le collage... ) |
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| A time in the past. |
[Oct. 31st, 2007|03:54 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Steady & Co--Stay Gold | ] |
I had this random surge of thoughts running through my head for quite sometime now and was taking a look back at my life. I was looking at my friends that have such happy, long, loving relationships and just wonder "what did they ever do to have met their boyfriend or girlfriend and kept them for so long?" Now and days, meeting someone and clicking on all those levels just seems impossible. You know, friends, families, quirky habits, culture, religion, etc. I take a look at my friends and it seems like all aspects of their lives were unfolding and connecting with this other person and everything just happen to fall in the correct time and place and then BAM! Boyfriend & boyfriends or boyfriends & girlfriends they are.
I have always had this theory in my head that everyone has a past life that we probably aren't in tapped with, but it is some where within us. Sometimes, I've always wonder "what has this person gone through in their past life to have what they have today?" Maybe in their past life, they lived such a lonely but grateful life that the powers that be granted them a life that wasn't filled with such loneliness, unfolded all the correct pieces, and gave them this opportunity to meet this loving person, and keep them for along time. On the flip side, another possibility could be that maybe in their past life they had taken for granted of their lover and their happiness, that now in this present life, they have been granted loneliness.
I feel like we all have lessons to learn in this present life and maybe if it wasn't meant to be, it must be a lesson that we have to learn in the current life. There are times where I feel like maybe I did something horrible and wrong in my past life that I could be making up for it in this current lifetime.
A while back, I had talked to this nurse that I worked with and we had started talking and getting to know each other and she was a 45 year old nurse that had never been married nor did she ever had a boyfriend. She had always spent her life helping her siblings and her family and concentrated so hard in school that her love life never occur to her or crossed her mind.
After hearing her story, I took a look back at my life and realized even though I'm single right now, I have met such wonderful people in my life, although I am no longer with some of them anymore, I have met people that have given me the opportunity and permission to love on, even though they might not love me back, I was still given the opportunity and permission to show my loving in the way that I wanted to show to them, whether or not they felt the same way or not.
There was this quote that I always liked that I found when I was dating this guy and the quote goes "Whether you're gay or straight, everyone needs someone to love." I truly think this is true, don't you think so? Is it so wrong to hang on optimism and completely forget that pessimism exists? Maybe that’s what is keeping me going in this current life…optimism. |
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| I’m Gonna Fucking Learn Sign Language Dammit! |
[Sep. 17th, 2007|03:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
The other day, I was watching Joe (this guy I'm dating) looking at some videos online and I was soo fascinated. Finally, booked mark the website and decided to have a taste of the entire website. I come to find that I have taken wayyy too many things for granted.
I was reading some of the comments that were posted on the website and one of the folks had made the comment that deaf folks should stick to dating with deaf and not deviate from their circle. Wasn't that kind of ignorant of him to say that? Granted, I'm not deaf myself, but for some reason to hear him make that comment made me kind of sad myself. =(
Maybe I'm just a pussy and have such a fragile heart and maybe it's because I'm dating a deaf guy and I didn't want to hear someone say something rude and ignorant regarding to a deaf person dating a hearing person or a hearing person dating a deaf person. I know it is now 2007 and thousands and thousands of years have passed and there have been people in this world that have dated interracially, dated outside of their norms, and go against what they're parents do and say.
Maybe sometimes it is easier to date within our culture and race, but did anyone considered sometimes it may not be easier? What if it's actually worse than what it could have been the other way? But what's the true message? How will you ever know if you will like something if you have never tried it? Now now, I'm not saying if you're not gay, give it a try. There are boundaries. But what it comes down to is keeping an open heart and accepting people for who they are and live and learn from everyone. If you feel interested in someone or something, join them/it and learn from them/it. It's just going to make you a better person and add another perspective to your world and their world.
That's not such a bad thing now, is it? *(^_^)V
Here's that website that I couldn't take my eyes off. |
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| HATER! |
[Sep. 9th, 2007|12:06 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
[23:53] bluekrackmunky: omg..u just discover mount bonell?
[23:53] RobinSHUTUP: STFU!
[23:53] bluekrackmunky: HAHAHA!!
[23:54] bluekrackmunky: LOSER!
[23:54] bluekrackmunky: lol
[23:54] RobinSHUTUP: HATER!@
[23:54] bluekrackmunky: jk
[23:54] RobinSHUTUP: Leave it to the deaf guy to show me Mt Bonell!
[23:54] bluekrackmunky: can't believe u just found it
[23:54] RobinSHUTUP: lol
[23:54] bluekrackmunky: hahaha
[23:54] bluekrackmunky: fucken a..hahaha
[23:54] bluekrackmunky: next thing u know it..a blind man is gunna show u the rest of austin u miss out on
[23:54] bluekrackmunky: haha
[23:54] RobinSHUTUP: HAHAHA |
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| I PASSED! |
[Aug. 9th, 2007|02:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
Yay, I passed Nursing Skills I with a 90.4 and here are the teachers to thank for!
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| HAHA! |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|06:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
I had my contacts on and then I put on my new pair of glasses and then said "WHOA!" |
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| Nostalgic. |
[Jul. 23rd, 2007|08:50 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
Anyone remember munchin' on these growing up?
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *(^_^)V |
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| (-_-) |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|10:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pleased | ] |
On this journey, all sorts of things has happened to the point of where I don't even have time to feel lonely. It's been a long time since I've felt like this... |
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| Peace for the body, mind, and soul |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|01:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
"Everytime I hear this song, peace wraps around me. I love Nujabes's melodies. This instantly fill me with some inner peace or something. Aruarian Dance is my favorite. It makes a perfect lullaby and music when you are alone. I could listen to it over and over, and never get tired of it." |
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